Welcome to the hottest party of the year, Sassenachs. It’s Beltane. One night in May when all bets are off. Go around and ravish each other, lovers. Lose that v-card, babe. Any vow you ever made is forgotten and any sins you may commit are simply burned away by the needfire. It’s basically the Purge but for horny people. If you thought Outlander: Blood of My Blood was going to set an entire episode at this event and not take advantage, you were extremely wrong. And thank the faeries for that.
We can also thank Ned Gowan, whose chaperone skills are, technically speaking, subpar. I mean, upon arriving at the May Day festival outside of Inverness, Ned does remind Ellen not to do anything that would blow up this alliance with the Grants, but he also tells her to remember to have some fun. That’s the type of mandated guardian I’m into, okay? Ned rules.
It certainly looks like Ellen is having fun as she tries to figure out a way to both flirt with Malcolm Grant — who, if we’re being honest with ourselves, does honestly seem to be a nice guy (for now) — to keep the betrothal plans in play and ditch him so she can meet up with Brian. Luckily, Brian comes to her first. And then they come together, but we’ll get to that in a minute. God, I love Beltane.
If you recall, Brian and Ellen’s plan to meet at Beltane really hinged on having Julia there as their go-between. In an unsurprisingly and inevitable turn of events, Julia is forbidden from leaving Castle Leathers. She and Brian are up and ready to leave together that morning — they are full of so much hope! She is headed back to the stones! He gets to see his girl! — but are caught by Davina, who is clearly processing some toxic jealousy issues. She almost seems thrilled to inform Brian that Julia, now showing, is pregnant with Lord Lovat’s child, his sibling. Brian is hurt that Julia would lie to him about who the real father of her child is, and so when Davina tells Julia there’s no way she would ever be allowed to leave, Brian doesn’t fight for her. It’s excruciating to watch, since we know Julia confided the truth about her pregnancy to Brian, as he’s the only person she trusts. However, she can’t explain this to him, lest she ruin the ruse she sacrificed so much for. So, Julia is left behind and Brian rides off, thinking she’s duped him. The whole scenario is even more gutting when, yes, Henry arrives at Beltane looking for his wife, only to leave without her once again. Obviously, we are only five episodes in, and they aren’t going to reunite Henry and Julia this early on, but, like, couldn’t they have at least gotten a glimpse of one another? Something?! To be this close over and over is really bumming me out. How long are we going to have to watch our sweet little time travelers sob into various pieces of jewelry?!
So the Brian/Julia friendship hour has been abruptly canceled, but Brian doesn’t head out to Beltane by himself: Murtagh wants to tag along. He thinks it could be the perfect place to finally talk to Ellen. Brian’s too nice to tell his best friend to get a fucking grip, but you know he’s thinking it. I love Murtagh and even I find him completely delusional for thinking he has any kind of shot at wooing Ellen MacKenzie at this point. Is it rotten to watch Brian deceive his friend like this? Sure, but let’s all, Murtagh especially, be so for real here.
Alas, Murtagh cannot be so for real. He cannot even be a little bit for real. Beltane kicks off with a little dance competition to name the May Queen. Everyone knows it’s going to be Ellen before it even starts, but we can all play along. Regardless of the inevitable outcome, there are several surprising moments that arise. First, during the group dance that Ellen begins with Malcolm, who should grab her waist and take her hand when they switch partners but Brian Fraser. Without Julia, he needed to find an inconspicuous way to talk to her. He is very smooth. They agree to meet at an old abandoned castle tower later that day, as only Highlanders in the 1700s can. Murtagh watches his friend take the hand of the woman he’s obsessed with and instead of beginning to piece things together, assumes Brian is just being a good wingman. When Jocasta Cameron, who has joined her sister at the festival as another one of her chaperones, sidles up to him and the two flirt a little about her pretending not to be a married woman for at least long enough to join the single ladies dance, Murtagh takes her hand and leads her to the dance floor. She is so in love with him and he could not care less — he drops her hand as soon as the song ends to run over and find out what Brian was saying to Ellen.
Ellen is crowned May Queen, and though both Murtagh and Brian throw themselves into the running for May King, Ellen, of course, chooses Malcolm to stand at her side during the fire ceremony that night. Honestly, it’s a little annoying that Brian would ever think this was a good idea — Ellen has a job to do! This woman is trying not to get murdered by either her brothers or Clan Grant. That’s multiple people who would murder her if she ruins her betrothal, dude. Use your head, Brian!
But it’s not like Ellen doesn’t take some big risks in the name of love, either. She gets rid of Malcolm by using her puppy dog eyes to get him to do some physical labor for the afternoon and then she shakes Jocasta by reminding her that if she got the stick out of her ass, they could both be free to do what (or who) they please for the afternoon. Ellen makes her way to the abandoned castle tower. Brian is there waiting for her and holy hell are these two into each other. They’re holding hands, and then they’re holding each other, and then they’re kissing as if they simply cannot help themselves. They know their time is fleeting.
Unfortunately, they do not know that there is one person who spots them: Murtagh. He’s been drinking to assuage his continued unrequited love for Ellen, which only makes his reaction to watching his best friend tongue the woman he loves even worse. He’s so angry and hurt that he can’t even speak — and you know that’s the scariest level of angry and hurt. He continues to drown his sorrows, he gets the shit kicked out of him by Arch Bug, who saw him offer himself up to Ellen for May King and didn’t much care for him encroaching on Clan Grant business, and then he ends up being drunk and stupid in a nearby tent. I guess Jocasta has been following him around because she walks into that tent ready, willing, and able to nurse Murtagh’s wounds. She wants to offer him any type of assistance he needs, if you catch her very obvious drift. They start to make out, Jocasta thinks this is awesome, but Murtagh ruins everything when he calls her Ellen. Murtagh just gave her this whole speech about how all he wants is to be wanted and then he goes and does this? No wonder these two don’t hook up until the 1770s.
While that situation is gutting, let’s be thankful Murtagh went off to be angry and drunk on his own and didn’t interrupt Brian and Ellen’s precious few hours together.
They waste exactly zero of them. This whole scene in the castle tower is so achingly romantic; I don’t know where this show goes from here. When Brian hesitates to initiate anything with Ellen out of fear of ruining her virtue, and she says simply and emphatically, “ruin me,” reader, I clapped. When they perform the handfasting, effectively getting married, and Ellen recites the final line in the ritual, “I give you my spirit till our lives shall be done,” and Brian responds, “longer,” reader, I swooned. The way he whispers “my God” once they start undressing, reader, I yelled out that Mariah Carey holiday season announcement “it’s tiiiiiiiime,” to absolutely no one.
Brian and Ellen having sex on that perfectly curated patch of moss on the tower floor is steamy, but their post-coital chat is quite lovely, too. He opens up about his monster of a father and how, for a long time, he felt no purpose, but now he has one again — to be the man she deserves. She tells Brian that she has no regrets about what they’ve done here. She has so little choice in her life, but she chooses him. “I would choose you time and again,” she says. We are in it now, folks!
Ellen returns to Beltane and dons her May Queen attire and performs her duties alongside Malcolm at the fire ceremony. She’s back to playing her role for Clan MacKenzie. But everything is different now, and there is no way that will stay a secret for long. I’d have to imagine that what happens at Beltane definitely doesn’t stay at Beltane.
Clan Business
• Henry does give Ned a heads-up about the letter they received from Lord Lovat calling Ellen’s virtue into question. While Henry has to do his due diligence, he does listen when Ned tells him that Lord Lovat can’t be trusted, and he lost his titles and money when he was accused of kidnapping and raping a noblewoman. It all tracks for that scumbag.
• Ned clearly has a soft spot for Henry: He opens up to him about losing the love of his life in Edinburgh, before joining Clan MacKenzie. His only options were to “linger in [his] torment or start anew,” and he advises Henry to consider the latter.
• I’m glad we got a reason Jocasta is such a dick to Ellen: She believes her sister had a lot to do with being married off to a terrible old man. Ellen explains that John Cameron was the best option out of some truly bad ones.
• If you watch Outlander, you know Lord Lovat is deeply into the supernatural. He has his seer, Maisri, come do a reading on Julia, in which she correctly picks up that Julia has a curly-haired, blue-eyed daughter and then proceeds to tell Lord Lovat that this baby is a boy with a higher purpose. She sees a throne, and Lord Lovat believes this means the baby will be the Scottish ruler to unite all the clans and restore the greatness of the Fraser name. He believes this child is a future king.
• I swear to God, if they try to tell us this kid is the Simon Fraser Jr. Claire and Jamie meet while gathering soldiers for Culloden, I’m going to be so mad. That guy was such a weenie. (That would also allude to some tragedy for Julia and Henry’s story, so I’m putting it out of my mind.)
• Maisri also appears in that episode of Outlander, still doing readings for Lord Lovat in the 1740s. I mean, that guy is the worst boss, but it’s nice to know she found some job stability in the seer industry.
• Davina tries to tell Lord Lovat that Julia was pregnant before arriving, but he’s too hopped up on the thoughts of raising the future king. He tells her he’ll have her throat slit if she spreads her theory further. So, I guess everyone is going to keep on pretending that baby is Lord Lovat’s for now.